


Dr. Aquarius' Write-Along Blog

by SaraSkyWolf



Series: The Soporless Dreams [1]
Category: Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Homestuck
Genre: (Also everyone has been censored for the duration of the story), (And Feferi's fish puns), (I am not adding anyone's quirks except for Eridan's accent), (Sollux's lisp), -Angst-, -Drama/Comedy-, -Feels-, -Parody-, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 10:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/912244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraSkyWolf/pseuds/SaraSkyWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Eridan finds out the hard way that sleeping without sopor slime gives you very strange dreams...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dr Aquarius/Eridan Ampora

_The room is silent as the figure enters, his cape swirling dramatically behind him. Or so he thought. The reality was that it looked absolutely ridiculous, and was highly impractical in his line of work. He knew this, but he didn't really care. It had been a gift, and he wore it proudly._  
 _The rest of his appearance was equally strange, certainly not human in origin, but close enough that it took you a minute to figure out he was different. He was tall, thin, and awkward, like he hadn't stopped being a teenager long enough for his body to catch up to him. He had a pair of lightning-shaped horns on either side of his head, pointing back away from his face and slightly up. His hair was slicked back in the same direction, and there was a streak of bright purple down the middle, going back from his forehead. There were a square pair of glasses perched crookedly on his nose, and his eyes were violet behind them._  
 _The cape wasn't the only strange thing he was wearing, either; he was wearing pinstripe pants, tennis shoes, a black longsleeve shirt with his symbol on the chest, and a long, striped scarf, dark-and-light blue, wrapped around his neck._  
  
 _In short, he looked like an extremely nerdy hipster fish._  
  
 _Said nerdy hipster fish walked over to the computer standing in the room's farthest corner, sat in the beyond enormous armchair in front of the desk, and he turned on the computer and started up the computer's webcam._  
 _There was a long silence as the program powered up. He waited patiently, fingers steepled under his chin and legs crossed underneath him_ _._

_The program beeped, and he grinned with a mouthful of shark teeth and started laughing._

"Wwellcome back to my blog, evveryone!"  
  
His voice sounded somehow as though it was underwater, most likely the combined forces of an incredibly prominent Irish accent, and the fact that his voice was wavering between octaves like a prepubescent teenager.  
  
"As most a you already havve heard, since you havve been wwatchin this blog, I'm the one and only Dr Aquarius, and I am the next vvillain ta join the wwell, and rightfuly, feared League of Subjuggulators-"  
He paused, frowned, then continued.  
"If they'll accept me, that is. I, uh, havve yet ta get anyfin back from them. It'll be fine, though, I'm sure."  
The frown disappeared, and the grin came back in full force. He continued.  
"I havve a strong application this year. I havve a letter of condemnation from the Mayor. Wwasn't that hard ta get, either; the guy's a total wwimp. It's hilarious, real-ly. You could point a stick at im and he'd beg for mercy."  
He seemed to realize something, and he sprang up, returning after a moment with a small pile of envelopes, smiling sheepishly.  
"Sorry about that; I forgot that you asked me ta answer questions this time around. So let's see wwhat you have for me."

He flipped through them, frowned, then pulled out an envelope that had been written on messily in crayons. He rolled his eyes.   
"Like I don't knoww wwho this is from," he muttered darkly, but he opened it anyway and began reading.

"Hey Aquaridork! It's your nemesis, Pyro-pe. You were supposed to meet me in the park next to the City Hall: at high noon, for that epic showdown! Remember?  
                Where were you?"  
  
He threw the balled-up letter into a nearby trashcan, his hands clenched into fists and his eyes shut tightly as he tried to get control of himself. Finally, he opened them again, and he sighed.  
"Pyrope, I don't knoww how many times I havve ta tell you; you aren't my nemesis. My nemesis..." He shut his eyes again, then growled before continuing. "Is Captain Captor. Wwith that nerve-wwrackin lisp, that stupid, awwful costume, and the sheer amount of uncaring-ness he displays for other people's wwelbein. So, yeah. He's my nemesis. Besides," he added, curling up slightly with an injured expression on his face,  
"I wwouldn't havve fought you there anywway. There are children in that park, they might'vve gotten hurt."  
  
He straightened out of the posture he had curled into, and returned to the pile of letters. He perked up at the next one he pulled out, a crisp, neat, clean white envelope with small, official looking writing on it. He grinned and tore it open, laughing before reading it out loud.

"Hey, uh, Dr Aquarius. I don't, exactly, know who you are, but, uh, rest assured, we will find you, and you will face justice.  
...  
Could you please stop being so hard to catch, it's, uh, really bad for the public image."

The shark teeth made a return appearance as he mocked the letter, "Looks like our belovved Mayor is fed up with me! Oooh, I'm so scared!"

He finally stopped laughing long enough to read the last letter in the pile, and he sobered up when there was no return address visible on it.  
"An anonymous, eh? Wwell, let's see wwhat they havve to say."  
  
"Hello, Doctor! I'm a long time watcher, and a major fan. This is the first time I'm writing in to you, though, cause I was wondering about a couple of things. Number one, is that I absolutely love your cape, and I was wondering if you know where to find one like it! It looks really comfy.  
Number two: Who's this girl, Feferi, that you keep talking about? You must really like her, huh Doc?"

He was frozen for a few seconds after finishing the letter. Slowly, a genuine smile creeps over his face and settles there, lighting up his eyes. And for a moment, it's not a villain sitting in the armchair; just someone in love with someone else.

  
"Yes...yes, I do like her."


	2. Feferi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan talks about Feferi.

_"I don't knoww if you knoww this -maybe I told you already, perhaps not- but I had pet fish at one point, in a tank in the livvin' room. They died a wwhile ago, wwhen I left for a wweek and forgot to feed them, but before that, I went to the pet store to buy food. That was when I met her..."_

Work was almost over, thankfully, and then she could go home and relax. It had been a real-ly bad shift that day; there had been many people who yelled at her, and one particularly mean guy with a bulldog who knocked a bag onto the ground, spilling it everywhere; and it was a 20-pound bag of dog food. And then he blamed her when the manager asked what had happened. She only kept her job because another customer had seen the incident and had spoken up in her defense, and the man had been escorted off the premises; but she still had to clean it up. Thankfully, his dog had eaten most of it, so there wasn't much to clean up.  
She was thankful for small mercies.  
  
 She had been halfway done, looking at the ground the whole time, when a hand entered her vision holding a tissue. She looked up, surprised, to see a strange-looking guy looking at her with concern in his eyes. 

"Need some help there?" he asked gently, and the irish accent hit her first thing.

She nodded, and realized she had been crying. Oh no wonder the guy looked worried; there were tears all over her face. She thanked him for the tissue, and started to get back to work, but he stopped her, making her sit on a nearby counter while he took the broom and the dustpan and finished the job for her. She took the time to look closer at him, noticing the absurd pinstripe pants and the long, crocheted scarf in various shades of blue. It looked endearingly silly on him, especially considering that streak of purple in his hair, and the fact that the three accsessories didn't match each other at all. He was an endearing mismatch of styles, one that she found oddly comforting.

He finished, and stood up, holding the trashcan and looking around discretely for somewhere to put it. She giggled and took it from him, putting it back under the counter.  
An awkward silence ensued where the two of them stared at each other for several seconds.  
Feferi finally remembered how to talk.  
"You, uh, net help with anyfin, mister?"  
He twitched slightly in surprise, then nodded.  
"Yes, actually, I was here for-" He stopped as the fish puns sunk in, and then laughed in surprise. She giggled mischieviously.  
He was still smiling when he started talking again.  
"Thank you," he said happily, "I needed that. Havven't laughed in a wwhile. Anywway, I wwas originally here for fish food...?"

She thought for a moment, then grabbed his arm and dragged him over to Aisle 10, not noticing the soft yelp of surprise or the blush on his cheeks. She paused in front of the fish section, and turned to face him.  
"So," she said slowly, "what kinda fish do you need food for?"

 

 _"She wwas the most beautiful person I had evver seen. I thought, wwhen I first saww her, that I had stepped into another time period by accident, and that I wwas actually lookin' at Helen of Troy, or Aphrodite maybe. She was sweet, too; helpin' me look for the right kind of food, makin' sure I had set the tank up correctly, helpin' me think of names for the fish wwhen I said I didn't havve them named yet; staying way past the end of her shift to talk about fish with a total stranger, when she didn't evven know my name._  
 _And she had a smile for evveryone we passed, like she hadn't just had the wworst day evver._  
 _It was love at first sight, on my end.  
_ _Too bad it wasn't on hers..."_


	3. Karkat/Kanaya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we meet Karkat and Kanaya, and we get backstory.

Aquarius looked wistful as he sat there, still smiling almost sadly as he talked about the girl of his dreams.  
"I'vve nevver been happier ta havve wasted time on somefin. Evven after the fish died, I still wwent back evvery Saturday an bought fish food, just so I could talk ta her. The highlight of my week, and sometimes, I can kid myself and say she looked happy ta see me too. And maybe next time-"  
There was a loud bang as the front door opened, a three second pause, and then another equally loud bang as it shut again.  
"We're home, Doc! Did you miss us?"  
Aquarius was already fumbling for the power button on the computer, turning it off just in time to avoid capturing images of his roommates on the webcam as they came out of the entry hall into the living room. He smiled a greeting and waved, laughing good-naturedly when they both shivered at the sight of his teeth.  
Karkat was carrying an absurd number of grocery bags on one arm, the other arm wrapped around his girlfriend, Kanaya, who tossed the mail to the doctor and took some of Karkat's groceries. Aquarius curled around the mail as he caught it, yellIng "Thank you!" to Kanaya and spreadIng it out on the table.  
Karkat was one of only three people he could maybe consider his friend; grouchy tough-guy to the doctor's nerdy hipster. His nickname for as long as the doctor had known hIm had been 'Moist', named such for the sheer volume of wine and beer consumed on a regular basis. He was pretty sure that were it not for Kanaya, Karkat would still be a smoker as well, and he would've contracted lung cancer and died years ago. Even as it stands, they're both lucky to be friends with her.  
He waits until they're both in the kitchen before picking the mail up, pausing as he did so, taking a moment to reminisce about how he met the two of them.

**DR. AQUARIUS: REMINISCE === >**

He had been trying to rob a large bank, one of many symbols of corruption scattered around the city. Captain Captor had stopped him again, employing brute force and using it to beat the snot out of him. He had barely been breathing by the time the Captain left him on the sidewalk, only abandoning the massacre in favor of finding new cameras to pose for.  
Unfortunately for Aquarius, he had chosen to try to rob a bank three miles from hIs home, meaning he would need to walk three miles -badly Injured- because no one in their right mind took hitchhikers in this part of town. He had gritted his teeth and started walking, making it about half a mile before he collapsed. The last thing he remembered was a yell of alarm as the world went dark and he fell.

He woke up to daylight in his eyes on someone's couch, bandaged, half-healed, and buried under at least five blankets. He had tried to bolt for the door before anyone came in, his first thought that a rival villain had captured him, too panicked to notice the fact that he had been cleaned up and bandaged. He was halfway to the front door, head spinning and his vision going fuzzy, right before he passed out again.  
He came to, again, back on the couch, at night this time.  
He was back under the blankets with someone alseep in a chair across from him. He tried to leave again, and found that whoever it was, they had tied his ankle to their hand with the use of a long, colorful scarf. His movement tripped him face-first onto the floor, broke his nose, and alerted the other person to him being awake. The mystery person woke up with a start, realized what woke them up, and managed to catch him before he could run for it.  
"If you are going to run away, could you perhaps untie my scarf first? It is one of my favorites, and at least then, you shall not look quite so silly running down the street."  
The voice was a woman's; elegant and graceful, with an edge of satirical humor that Aquarius instinctively didn't want to be on the other end of. The figure that leaned forward and untied the scarf matched the voice, with short, elegantly sculpted hair, and brilliant jade eyes that pierced his in the darkness. He stopped struggling, and eyed her warily.  
"Aren't you goin' to stop me?" he asked slowly, waiting for the trap. She shrugged.  
"No. If you are that eager to go elsewhere, I shall not stop you. I would highly advise that you wait here a few more days until you are completely recovered, but it is your choice."  
He almost took her at her word, but his nose was still bleeding, and his sudden movement off the couch had set his head spinning. He sat down before he could pass out again, and she nodded sagely.  
"Thank you. It would have been a grave insult to my profession if you left while not yet healed completely. I would have worried that you would collapse in an alley somewhere and die."  
She grabbed a box from a nearby table, and sat down next him on the couch. He tensed as she turned to face him, and he yelped in surprise and pain when she set his nose without warning. He was still gaping soundlessly while she put a bandage on his nose and patted his head.  
"I did not think you would want time to worry about it, so I did it quickly."  
He nodded, more to aknowledge her speaking than out of agreement. She got up to go back to her chair, and the front door opened.  
"Well, look who decided to wake up! Did you finally give Sleeping Beauty his kiss, then?"  
The voice was male, without question; rough and scratchy and sounding like its owner hadn't slept in days. And its owner was short, stocky, and just as rough; wearing jeans and a t-shirt, his hair messy and uncombed. He nodded wordlessly to the woman on the couch, set down the bags he had been carrying, and sat down in a chair across from Aquarius.  
"So, I don't suppose you have a name you can give us," the man asks, phrasing it as a statement rather than a question.  
Aquarius surprised himself by actually thinking about it, relaxing his guard, before remembering why no one had heard his name in years and shaking his head. They both look as though they had expected this.  
"In either case, we owe you introductions ourselves. My name is Kanaya, and this is Karkat."  
It turned out that it was Karkat who had found the doctor, and he had driven him to the hospital in his car. He was right outside the doors before he recognized Aquarius, and, realizing that the hospital staff would probably eat frogs before they helped him, he looked around for an alternative. He had the extreme good fortune to catch Kanaya on her way home, and she had been willing to help, on on the condition that Karkat bring medical supplies and food while she watched Aquarius. She wasn't happy about him not having a doctor check him over, but she agreed having a nurse look him over was certainly better than nothing. She took vacation days after two days, and it was three days later that she woke up to find him on the hallway floor, halfway to the door. That had been two days ago. Now, he was awake, and could he please make sure he checked with them before trying to kill himself leaving again?  
Aquarius looked bewildered by the time they had finished. He was shaking his head before they were even done, laughing bitterly.  
"The only problem wwith that story; nobody in their right mind wwould take an -infamous- supervillain into their home without a reason, certainly not just to be nice. So wwhat do you really wwant?"  
They took the time to convince him otherwise -"Look here, stupid, do we look like we want anything from you?"-, and it took a great deal of time and patience to do it -"I shall whack you upside the head if you do not stop saying we are going to torture secrets out of you. We are not".  
Eventually, he even believed them.  
He warmed up to them slowly over the following weeks, talking about mundane things at first such as his pet fish or the weather. He started talking at one point about the level of crazy the world had managed to achieve, and he opened up about his nemesis Captain Captor, and his own personal dreams of being a big-league supervillain.  
And they listened. It was the first time in years that he had really talked to anyone.  
He even trusted them with his name.   
And when they told him that they were moving in together, and asked him to join them, he agreed.  
  
Another choice he never regretted.

  
  
 **ERIDAN AMPORA: SORT THE MAIL FOR YOUR FRIENDS === >  
**

With pleasure.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so wow. This is the second major story I have attempted to write (Why must all my ideas be so HUGE? Why?), and after the way the first one went, I'm not holding my breath on finishing it. I will try, but please, if you read the stories, THROW ME SUGGESTIONS. If I don't have inspirations for either story, then writing for them is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. BLINDFOLDED.
> 
> Or. You know. Don't. Whatever. It's cool, it's cool.


End file.
